It's only just the beginning


            The Beginning of Anatomy of Art


This blog as been along time coming. In fact, it has been almost 20 years in the making. My intention

 with this blog is a space to show case my particular creative expression of art. I have much to say but

 even more to express. 


                            Welcome to the Anatomy of Art 


March 2023
 I started my artistic journey on July 15th 2020 and now almost three years on, it has transformed and 

taken a life of it's own in ways I couldn't even fathom.  I found art and creative expression much later 

than many other people which has always been most curious to me for reasons I will explain later. For

 many years, I believed I had almost zero creative talent. Which was surprising given that all five of my

 siblings are highly creative. I felt like the black sheep of the family in many ways but this false belief I

 am not creative  reinforced my perspective. Many years of various versions of this belief created deep

 neural grooves that would shape my reality. I always felt like an outsider in my family, like I really didn't belong there. 

July/August 2021



    From my vantage point now, it makes much more sense and many of the pieces are now falling into 

place as I just began my twenty-eighth trip around the sun. In retrospect, I had the perfect training ground.

There were many things I experienced which were the direct opposition of who I have remained at my 

core. I was learning early that my family was not my home land, but a launching pad for the exploration

 and trail blazing I would be doing. An alien adrift among earthlings.

    


April 2023 

Reflecting on my experience with art, we would run into each other many times, but there was never a 

closeness, fear required I keep my distance. In the world I inhabited, was very cold and hostile and I

 wasn't ready seek out its closeness.  The analogy of video games levels seems appropriate here, there

 were some bosses I needed to face before the creative expression and art arena was accessible to me. 

I was given the opportunity to encounter art again during the midst of the Pandemic and this time I was ready.


                                                          Encountering Art 

    Beyond my first dog, R.J. and my familiar love, it was the first time I had ever fallen in love with

 something or someone and that includes myself. My first step into embodying myself coincided with my

 introduction to art. Part of my early programming involved the demonetization of my humanity. This left

 me unable to inhabit my body. I was recently speaking to my sister about that time and she described me

 as "float-y".  I  indeed floated above my body like an un-tethered astronaut, unable to inhabit my body-

 kept me in suspended animation, frozen in place. It would ultimately rob me of my voice, self-expression,

 and leave me in a zombie like state: neither dead nor alive.  


Colliding with art liberated me from the tiny

Mid 2022
self-imposed box I was residing in: a small, fear filled world based on programming I had received that

 resided at the intersection of trauma and religious dogma. A world where there was no room for dissent,

 creative expression, or one's own authentic voice. This was a profoundly bewildering experience. I was

 unaware of how deep reaching it would be in my psyche. I have focused a tremendous amount of energy

 to unravel and disentangle myself from who I was programmed to be. 


                              


 

April 2023

  While this has been quite undertaking, it has cultivated in me foundational qualities that I will carry 

with me as tools for the entirety of my life. The farther a rubber band gets pulled back, the farther it flies. 

have reinvented myself over and over, burning myself down to the ground only to rise like a phoenix. As 

Toni Jones says, "...at this point, everything feeds my growth..."  


   




                                                             Rocketing ahead

     Art is one of those tools that will be with me for the rest of my life. It has assisted me with gaining my

 voice back and the reanimation process required for me to inhabit my body. For the most part, I have

 kept my art a private expression as it felt too fragile and in its nascence for to withstand the winds of the

 Internet, but three years on, I am ready to showcase The Art of Anatomy.  


                                                                           Welcome. 

                                        I'm so glad you're here


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